People who want to commit suicide do not necessarily want to end their lives. Their prime wish is to escape unendurable emotional pain. For many of these individuals, death is their only escape from it. While some might desire to end the moment of suffering, they often contradict themselves with the concept of suicide and wish for another option. Whether by notes, statements, or other means, many who kill themselves will give evidence of their intentions, so the mention of suicide or plans for it should be taken very seriously.
Research has pinpointed that hopelessness is one of the key factors for suicide. Hopelessness is described by those individuals as entailing severe emotional turmoil: there is no hope for the future, and nothing to look forward to.
Tips for Talking about Suicide
Being able to recognize the warning signs of potential suicide and take it seriously is one crucial step towards prevention. That said, getting the conversation going on such topics can be difficult. If you’re unsure whether the person has suicidal thoughts, the best approach is usually to directly ask. Expressing concern doesn’t increase the risk of suicidal behavior-rather, it may relieve some of what is hanging over the person and allow them to be freely expressive, thus decreasing the chance of an attempt.
Starting the Conversation
- “I’ve actually been quite concerned about you, lately.”
- “I’ve seen some changes in you, but I wanted to ask for you, how are you?”
- “Something really doesn’t feel right about you now, and I wanted to check in.”
If the person shows suicidal tendency, let the conversation continue like by asking questions like:”When did this feeling start?”
- “Was it maybe this bother that triggered that feeling?”
- “You aren’t alone in this; I’m really here for you right now, so how can I support you?”
Ways to start a conversation about suicide
- I’ve been worried about you recently.
- Lately, I’ve noticed some changes in you, and I wanted to see how you’re holding up.
- I just wanted to check in and see how you’re feeling.
If the individual you are talking to admits to suicidal feelings, you can continue the conversation by inquiring
If someone opens up about having suicidal thoughts, you can continue the conversation by asking:
- “When did these feelings start?”
- “Did something specific happen that led you to feel this way?”
- “You’re not alone in this. I’m here for you. What can I do to support you right now?
When you are talking to someone who is feeling suicidal, DO
When speaking with someone experiencing suicidal thoughts:
- Be authentic. Let them know they’re not alone and that you care about them.
- Listen without judgment. Give them the space to share their feelings, no matter how difficult the conversation may be.
- Be empathetic and patient. Approach the discussion with calmness and an open mind.
When talking with someone who feels like harming themselves, DON’T
When interacting with someone who thinks like harming themselves:
- Don’t argue or try to convince them of reasons to stay alive.
- Avoid reacting with shock or giving a lecture about the value of life.
- Never promise secrecy. If someone’s safety is at risk, it’s important to involve others who can help.
- Refrain from offering advice or making them feel like they need to justify their emotions.
- Don’t blame yourself. Their feelings are not your fault.
Getting Help
Getting to know that someone you hold dear is up to committing suicide can make one feel overwhelmed. Several support systems exist to help deal with these feelings. For guidance and local resources, call the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988. If the person expresses an actual intention of harming himself or herself, get help by taking him or her to an emergency room or mental health specialist, or call 911 for help.
The key is to obtain help. It is through open, frank discussions that those in crisis can begin to create a safer environment for themselves, safeguarding lives in the process.
