FOREVER YOUNG
It’s really difficult to replay certain memories in your head, isn’t it? Sometimes, it’s like flashbacks of pure hell and you do your best to just bury those moments deep inside of your head. So deep inside there, that they don’t have to ever appear in your thoughts again.
Right now, you’re going to relive one of the hardest days of my whole life. You’re going to have to come back for the next few days to get the full story and a little of my family history, but that is because I want you to hang on to each word and each minute with me. I need you too. Together, we will work through this.
A Little History
Marguerite (Maggie) Madeleine Levesque was born 01/06/1996. When I found out my mom was pregnant with my sister, I was so excited. She was 8 years younger than me and for me, that was perfect timing.
I wanted to play dress up with her and teach her how to drive among many other things that a big sister could and should do. Maggie was a light in the world. She was funny and knew the exact words to say to make you feel better.
We were separated young. We had different dads and our mom liked to move a lot. She wasn’t a bad mom, she just needed to find herself and unfortunately, that took time, and took time away from us. After our mom and Maggie’s father had split up I only saw Maggie a handful of times.
One of the times I remember and think back on often, was when she was 6 years old. I got to hug her and walk through the park together. She showed me a dead duck in the pond. The duck had plastic from the 6 pack sodas wrapped around its neck and Maggie went on and on about how polluting the earth was a bad thing, especially for animals.
Maggie was so concerned for life and its well-being. She had always been wise beyond her years on this earth. As we parted ways that day, I cried because I wasn’t sure how long it would be until I saw her again. She hugged me really hard, wiped my tears away, and said, “Everything will be okay, I love you big sis!” Then she walked away and went into her house. That was the last time we hugged.
I heard about her all the time. We lived in the same town, but somehow, we never physically saw each other. Her father had addiction problems, so she went to live with her grandmother across town. When our mother decided to move back, she went to live with them, so that she could be a part of Maggie’s life.
I was so happy for them. I was also a little jealous because I never really got that with my mom. By this time, I had moved 4 hours away with my dad and his wife. So the separation between my sister and I became permanent. The distance between us kept getting further and further away. However, with my mom around, I was able to talk to her on the phone more.
When Maggie was 12 or 13, our mother and her dad moved from the state. Maggie started calling at times when our mom didn’t even know. She wasn’t always happy being there, but she was still safe.
We had talked about her moving in with me when I could save up enough money to get my own place. I was thrilled, but that caused so many problems with me and my mom. Then my mom decided that I shouldn’t talk to Maggie anymore. I respected that, but I would still try.
I got a job that took up a lot of my time. I worked in a facility that housed developmentally challenged adults, with the goal of helping them integrate into “normal” society with jobs and places to live on their own. I was working anywhere between 60 and 80 hours a week.
Conversations with everyone were short or not at all, so I worked as much as I could because I wanted to make sure that my offer was still good whenever Maggie needed it.
Within this time, my mother had remarried and moved her and Maggie further away. Mom’s new husband wasn’t always the nicest person, but we had finally started talking to each other again! I wish I would have known that these would be our last conversations. To Be Continued…
